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Mar. 27,  2008  

BEAUTIFUL NIGHTMARE

    

     Beyonce comes out with a new song every 4 hours. She must still be in denial about her ugly ass Joe Camel look-alike boyfriend, Jay-Z

     Here's her latest release Beautiful Nightmare.  We like it, but then again our mammas warned us...once we went black...

   

 


 

Apr. 4,  2008  

TODAY MIGHT BE THE DAY

    

          The big rumor circulating the net this morning is that  Beyonce  and Beyonce with penis might get married...TONIGHT!  Oh the joy!

Lainey Gossip also thinks it's in the numbers for Beyonce and Jay-Z to be married today:

B’s birthday is September 4th. Jay’s birthday is December 4th. They have matching IV tats on their ring fingers acquired in Paris…

He owns the 40/40 clubs.

Tomorrow is April 4th.

04/04/08 .... 4+4=8

        Yeah, and 4 is the number of white people that will be at their wedding.  They should totally get married today... and if you're not invited to the wedding just get in line for divorce court on Monday...you'll see 'em then.  Bring flowers.

 

Apr. 5,  2008  

JUST MARRIED

 
 

         Jay-Z and Mrs. Z got hitched last night in an elaborate ceremony that took place in their penthouse apartment in NYC.

        Guests included former Beyonce bandmates Kelly Rowland, and Michelle Williams and also Gwyneth Paltrow and hubby Chris Martin (ColdPlay) as the token white people.

        Congratulations to the couple.  You've just been included in the Celebrity Divorce pool.

 

Apr. 7,  2008  

HONEYMOON'S OVER

    

         If hip hop moguls Jay-Z and Beyoyo were married this weekend they sure aren't acting like it.  Jay-Z was back to work this weekend performing in Greensboro, N.C. and was seen NOT wearing a wedding ring. 

        However, ghetto superstar Mary J. Blige (pronounced bly and not bliggy like we thought) gave her peeps a shout out at a concert saying, "Congratulations to my man Jay Z and my girl B".

        We're assuming Jay-Z put a hit out on Blige for spilling the beans.

 

May. 1,  2008

BEYONCE PREGNANT

 

        Sources close to Beyonce and Jay-Z state that the pop star IS DEFINITELY pregnant. 

        A source close to the couple revealed, "Beyonce is 100% pregnant, which is why the couple rushed their wedding."

        The
source added that Beyonce is in her early stages, but don’t expect this star to come out with a confirmation statement anytime soon. The couple is pretty private about their personal lives--they still haven't even confirmed their wedding. But the source confirmed that she is expecting and they rushed the wedding due to Beyonce's strong Christian beliefs.

        Man, that kid better have her looks and his brains...cus if it's the other way around that's gonna be one stupid ass Joe Camel baby.
 

 

Sep. 17,  2008  

BEYONCE ROLEPLAYING

 

         Beyonce (27) shoots the video for her new song, "If I Were A Boy" dressed as a slutty police skank.  Finally, a celebrity that checks her suggestion box.

         "You under arrest for committing a 483.... Unlawful possession of junk in da trunk.  You have da right to remain Bootylicious".