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BEAUTIFUL NIGHTMARE
Beyonce comes out with a new song every 4 hours. She must still be in denial about her ugly ass Joe Camel look-alike boyfriend, Jay-Z
Here's her latest release Beautiful Nightmare. We like it, but then again our mammas warned us...once we went black...
TODAY MIGHT BE THE DAY
The big rumor circulating the net this morning is that Beyonce and Beyonce with penis might get married...TONIGHT! Oh the joy!
B’s birthday is September 4th. Jay’s birthday is December 4th. They have matching IV tats on their ring fingers acquired in Paris…
He owns the 40/40 clubs.
Tomorrow is April 4th.
04/04/08 .... 4+4=8
Yeah, and 4 is the number of white people that will be at their wedding. They should totally get married today... and if you're not invited to the wedding just get in line for divorce court on Monday...you'll see 'em then. Bring flowers.
JUST MARRIED
Jay-Z and Mrs. Z got hitched last night in an elaborate ceremony that took place in their penthouse apartment in NYC.
Guests included former Beyonce bandmates Kelly Rowland, and Michelle Williams and also Gwyneth Paltrow and hubby Chris Martin (ColdPlay) as the token white people.
Congratulations to the couple. You've just been included in the Celebrity Divorce pool.
HONEYMOON'S OVER
If hip hop moguls Jay-Z and Beyoyo were married this weekend they sure aren't acting like it. Jay-Z was back to work this weekend performing in Greensboro, N.C. and was seen NOT wearing a wedding ring.
However, ghetto superstar Mary J. Blige (pronounced bly and not bliggy like we thought) gave her peeps a shout out at a concert saying, "Congratulations to my man Jay Z and my girl B".
We're assuming Jay-Z put a hit out on Blige for spilling the beans.
May. 1, 2008
BEYONCE PREGNANT
Sources close to Beyonce and Jay-Z state that the pop star IS DEFINITELY pregnant.
A source close
to the couple
revealed,
"Beyonce is 100%
pregnant, which
is why the
couple rushed
their
wedding."
The
source added
that Beyonce is
in her early
stages, but
don’t expect
this star to
come out with a
confirmation
statement
anytime soon.
The couple is
pretty private
about their
personal
lives--they
still haven't
even confirmed
their wedding.
But the source
confirmed that
she is expecting
and they rushed
the wedding due
to Beyonce's
strong Christian
beliefs.
Man, that kid
better have her
looks and his
brains...cus if
it's the other
way around
that's gonna be
one stupid ass Joe
Camel baby.
Sep. 17, 2008
BEYONCE ROLEPLAYING
Beyonce (27) shoots the video for her new song, "If I Were A Boy" dressed as a slutty police skank. Finally, a celebrity that checks her suggestion box.
"You under arrest for committing a 483.... Unlawful possession of junk in da trunk. You have da right to remain Bootylicious".