Ahhh celebrities and their tough summer schedules.  Here's Britney Spears at the Palms Resort in Las Vegas over the weekend working hard on her tan and closing a million dollar deal with the hotel owners. 

        We know Brit is still chubby and all, but that tight summer dress and stripper heals have "fuck me" written all over it.   Not for me though...I don't heard cattle... but for rednecks like Federline that's fine eatin.

        Britney Spears spent time with her kids this weekend.  We don't remember what their names are, but shit, if she doesn't have to remember then we don't. 

        The boys were playing in their toy car until Brit screamed, "Hey, it's my turn y'all!". 

        We don't want to say that Brit misses the attention she once had, but she did make her kids dress up like paparazzi and take pictures of her ass as she drove around her back yard looking for a Star Bucks.

        Just what the Spears family needed...another Prozac-prone, whiny girl.  Jamie Lynn Spear, as you probably already know, delivered her baby early this morning thru C-section.  And by C-section we mean Crazy section of the hospital

        Brit Brit was there to see her little sis give birth.  "Is it a boy or girl?....I can't tell!"....."That's the placenta you moron!"

        Ahh the miracle of birth....control pills....has failed us again.

        Congrats to the unwed bastard couple and good luck to that poor kid (Maddie Brian).

        Here's Britney doing an impression of Julia Roberts (nipples and all) after her appearance on Vanity Fair.  Julia stated in the issue which came out a while back that she would be happy to babysit Brit's wacko kids for the troubled pop star.

        Well here's your reply bitch. 

        You take care of Brit's kids and Brit will do your job of being a useless bitch on the cover of magazines.  Now that's funny.  Who knew she had it in her?  

        On a separate note... Vanity Fair has to be thrilled with all the negative publicity they're getting for the useless shit they put in their filth-ridden publication. 

        Here's Britney and daddy Spears attending Christian Audigier's 50th birthday bash in L.A. yesterday.  Britney is showing off her new Mel Gibson tan.  She was dressed in a sexy sleak black mini skirt while her dad wore something from his blue-collar comedy redneck closet.

        People.com reports that they were surprised that Brit didn't have any alcohol and only stayed for 90 minutes before calling it a night.  Wow...what a shocker.  When I go partying with my mom we usually hit after hours at the strip club.

        Britney's ex manager J.R. Rotham had this to say about her ex pupil:

“She’s like a master at what she does. She’s a lot more experienced than most people. She just has the ‘it’ factor that not every artist has. So it’s always nice to work with her.”

        Master of flab-ridden, crotch flashing train wrecks. 

        Stop kissing Brit's ass you peon... have some fucking dignity, will you.  If she's "a master" for acting like an idiot, than Sponge Bob Square Pants must be a fucking god.  Actually Brit kinda looks like Patrick..hmmm.

        All hail master Square Pants.