I know that I just posted about Jessica 'Bobo' Simpson (28)a minute ago, but this story and the pepaw Gomer pic was just too juicy to exploit.  Forgive my ass.

        Bobo performed in Ontario Canada on Wednesday and people are saying it's the worst thing they've heard EVER.

        One tortured witness said,  "It might be unfair calling Jessica Simpson's show at the Avalon Ballroom Wednesday a train wreck -- at some point, a train knows where it's going." 

        That's cold man..........But not cold enough, what else ya got?

         Even the professionals couldn't stand her ass.  "Simpson needs to explain in exhausting detail what every single song is about, and the endless banter kills any momentum. She’s still living in a reality show, convinced everyone is so fascinated with her personal life, they’d rather hear her talk than sing."    -  John Law (Niagara Falls Review)

         Hmmmph....They're just jealous.  You can't really stink that bad.... Right Bobo? 

        "I do pass gas a lot," Jessica said to the crowd. "I guarantee it smells like roses."

        Ummm... We'll take your word for it Bobo.  I bet Bobo can queef the alphabet.  Romo, you're one lucky dude.

 

        According to People Magazine Jessica 'Bobo' Simpson (28) found love again. Who loved her hillbilly ass before?

        "I just told him (Tony Romo) today, 'You're the love of my life,' I don't really ever say that to anybody."

        I don't really ever say that??  What the hell does that mean?  That she insinuates it thru oral sex but the words get mumbled with the cum???

        Bobo goes on to say that her love is so strong for the Dallas quarterback that she has changed her email and phone # just for Tony.

        "I don't want anybody that's been in my life [before] in my life anymore. I don't even want them to have any way of contacting me."

        So 1-800-Rent-A-Bitch is free now??? 

        Man, nobody wants your almost 30-yr old dried up hillbilly hooters anymore.  Besides 123-DUMB-ASS isn't much of a secret.

 

       

        Jessica Simpson (28) was interviewed by a Nashville Radio Station yesterday and responded to Carrie Underwood's statement in Allure Magazine that Tony Romo still calls her at the wee hours of night.

        "Tony and I both laughed at that," says Simpson. "We got a chuckle out of it."

        When asked how she knew he wasn't calling Underwood the dumb bitch said, "I checked his call log...".

        Nice.  Crazy stalker bitch....probably took out her CSI kit (Chicken of the Sea Inspection) kit and checked his underwear for cum stains.

 

        Stampede Light Plus is using Jessica Simpson (28) to promote their shitty ass beer.  Stampede Light??? That's a great name.  They were originally gonna go with "Pappa Joe's Barn Burnin' Moonshine Emporium", but they thought that people who don't actually drink their piss in a bottle might figure that one out.

        They're using Simpson's image on an ad that reads "Be Smart..".  Are people gonna really be able to relate to that?  Shouldn't an ad with her picture on it read, "Don't be a Dumb Ass" ?

        And what the hell does a stampede have to do with Jessica Simpson anyway?  When I hear the word stampede I think of a group of loud dirty heffers charging.......

        Hmmmmm... my bad. 

 

        Real girls may eat meat, but according to Carrie Underwood (28) Tony Romo's done with Jessica Simpson's (25) rotten fish pussy. 

        Underwood tells Sept edition of Allure Magazine that Romo still calls her ass in the middle of the night begging for the good stuff.

         She said, "We were both small-town people doing very big things, and we relied on each other, dealing with fame. I don't know. The phone will ring and it'll be him, and I'll maybe not answer."

        Aw shit... Maw grab the skillet...dem ther r fighten words. 

        Nothing's better than when two jealous hillbilly bitches go after the same redneck cooter.  You know all these fuckers are related.  If you look far enough on the family tree you'll see that they all have the same Grandpappy Cletus. 

 

        Jessica Simpson (28) who is rumored to have a sex tape leaked with Nick Lachey, performed her country shit live for the first time at the Country Thunder Festival in Wisconsin and opened to a crowd full of BOO'S.  Simpson told the crowd:

        Correction... you're doing what pays the most because everything else you tried failed miserably and you're paying a boy to stay with your ass for the publicity.

        Here's what country fans that attended the festival had to say: