ATTENTION:  Madonna ... Helen Keller Elementary School called...  They want their 1986 kickball uniform back!

         Madge is practicing for her big concert at the city of Cardiff, in the U.K. 

         For the sweet love of God Madge... you're 50.... 50.  Have some fucking dignity.  Put on a pair of shuffleboard pants and Depends undergarments or whatever the hell they're wearing at the Shady Oaks Retirement Village now a days.

         If this is "the look" that's popular in England right now, it's now wonder they're getting their ass kicked in the Olympics.     

 

        ATTENTION: Britney Spears...

        Grimace's tranny cousin called and wants his good will dress back.  He said you can keep the mule-skin bowling bag though.

         The Brit left a meeting yesterday with Merv Griffin Enterprises... the same company that produces Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.  Oh please let this dumb bitch be on Wheel of Fortune.  Then all my dreams would come true.

        "I'd like to by an owl, Pat"

        "a WHAT?"

        "No owls say "who....WHO...not what...Ya'll aint too bright now is ya'll?"

              

        ATTENTION: Nicole Richie...  Gerlin the Tranny Wizard called... He wants his Harry Potter starters kit back.

        Here's Richie at the Women In Films Awards last night.  She must've thought she was at the Women On Crack Awards when getting dressed.  Seriously, I've always wondered what Best Buy did with all that left over Christmas wrapping paper....huh...who knew?