Oprah  finished her interview with Tom Cruise today without turning into a vampire or worse a Scientologist.  Enjoy

        CLICK HERE to see all the crazy.

       

 

          Here's the first part of the Oprah Winfrey - Tommy Boy interview in Telluride, Colorado.  No couch jumping but still a whole bunch of crazy.  WARNING: this film contains fat black women and crazy ass white people... not suitable for children or adults.

 

 

         AWWWWWWWWWW, if it aint Tommy boy and golden child Suri Cruise playing in the scientology sand box.   

        Does it scare anyone else that Suri and Katie are starting to look more and more like Tommy boy everyday?  We think that Suri and Katie are in fact one...and are a sick part of Tommy boy's mad Scientology experiments to clone scientologists all over the world. 

        HURRY everyone run back to your houses...lock your doors, put on your tin foil helmets and shave your balls.  (That last one might be a bit too far...but the rest of its all good)

       

 

       Now we're going to tell you right off the bat that we're double checking the validity of this story. 

         Katie Holmes is looking more like Sherlock Holmes, sporting tiny boobies and an awful new haircut.  Seen above leaving Osteria Mozza after dinner and clearly upset about something, as she walks by the pappos without so much as a "fuck you".  Maybe she found a hair in her thousand dollar soup and she couldn't tell if it was from up north or down south.

          Is it just us or does Holmes girl look more and more like Tommy boy everyday?  Damn scientology voodoo.. I need to go tape up my doors and windows.  

        Tom Cruise was just replaced by Angelina Jolie for the action thriller, Edwin A. Salt.  Hollywood execs say that at 47 the Top Gun actor is shooting blanks at the box office and that audiences can't relate to his papaw Scientology fuckery. 

        If that weren't sad enough... producers for Mission Impossible 4 have told Cruise that he is too old to star in it.  “Cruise is begging for MI:4 (Mission Impossible: 4)’ but Paramount wants a younger, cheaper guy. He had a tantrum and ran out of the meeting,” a spy gushed to the New York Post on Wednesday.

        Aww...Cheer up Tommy C, we'll grab our Panasonic VHS camcorder and film it ourselves with YOU as the lead role.  We'll call it MI:4 Operation Constipation.  You shall be revenged! 

 

       Tomkat's has done all the freaky Scientology experiments that they could possibly do on little Suri.  They are talking about creating a new test tube baby.  Does it really matter? They're gonna be bottle feeding Suri until she's 32.  A family friend reveals:

        “She said she’s got the itch,” said a friend close to the pair. “Now that Suri is more toddler than baby, she said she misses having an infant in the house. And, of course, she thinks Suri would make a great big sister.”

        She's got the itch?  That could just be her crabs acting up again.  See, this is how rumors get started.

 

          Oprah Winfrey interviewed Tommy Boy at his home in Telluride, Colorado.  Tommy boy started shittin brick when Oprah started puttin her feet up on his couch.  He thought she was gonna start crumpin 'n shit and start yelling, "payback's a bitch!"

         Tom and Katie picked O-dawg up at the airport right before Tommy sent Katie off to Scientology Space camp.  (you know her ass was writing her parents to get her the fuck out of there..."Hello mother....hello father.."

         After Oprah asked Tommy about Scientology, his marriage, and exactly when he lost his marbles Cruise took her for a ride on his Scietologymobile where she screamed for her life.

          Part 2 of O's interview with Cruise will take place back at her place in Chicago.  And part 3 at Shady Oaks mental facility.